How I Met My Husband: Let Love In

In honor of Valentine's Day, and for the Bloggers Like Me Blog Hop, I'm reviving two personal posts I wrote about letting love in ... and out.

**This post is powered by #BLMGirls. Learn more about #BLMGirls HERE. You can check out other posts from our #BLMBlogHop by visiting the link below http://www.thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com/**

First, let me preface this story with some background information...

When I met my husband, I was emotionally starved (figuratively and literally). Fresh out of a break up, tired of heartbreak after heartbreak, I finally broke down. To add insult to injury (literally and figuratively), my dad landed himself a month stint in the hospital, including 11 days of sedation (thanks to a motorcycle accident...punctured lung, broken ribs, broken pelvis, exposed bone... you name it, he had it). I was jaded, guarded, tired...and 15 pounds lighter.

(Please note: Those are the SAME skinny pants. Before in  May, After in July for my 25th birthday. I still can't believe they were baggy!)

So here's the story...

We met in a tattoo shop. Yes, a tattoo shop.  (Imagine telling this to a priest during pre-marital counseling).  The tattoo artist was behind, so we invited him back so that he would not have to sit in the waiting room with the creepy guy --who was also waiting.  I immediately noticed his boyish grin.  Let me be frank, I never found many guys attractive. And when I did find them attractive, I often thought they were arrogant or a waste of my time.  But him. He was cute.  He started to sing and drum a beat along to "Welcome to the Jungle", and I couldn't help but smile. We chit-chatted. He seemed genuine. I batted by eyes and hoped he would ask for my number. He didn't.

 I went home wondering if I could have done anything differently. Yup, still thinking about him.  (That never happens.) I turned on my computer, I logged into Facebook... new message.  From Mercedes (who can forget a name like that).  Thank you facebook. I knew his cousin, so he facebook stalked me.   I HAD to like him, because I wasn't creeped out. 

It took some time for me to let go of old hurt and to let love in. I fought it. I denied that I was falling for him.  I kept telling myself I wasn't ready.  I was supposed to enjoy the single life! But I guess God had other plans.  For the first time, I had found someone who loves me for my flaws, rather that "in spite of them". I could be my true self --quirks and all. Love had found me...even though I wasn't looking. 

 On May 25, 2007, he slipped me a paper that read, "Will you be my girlfriend? Yes/No"  (reminiscent of grade school, I know).  And on that day I checked yes, and I let love in.

Engagement photos by Tere Schubert Photography
 

Can you guess how he proposed?

Let love ... out?

In honor of Valentine's Day, and for the Bloggers Like Me Blog Hop, I'm reviving two personal posts I wrote about letting love in ... and out. 

**This post is powered by #BLMGirls. Learn more about #BLMGirls HERE. You can check out other posts from our #BLMBlogHop by visiting the link below http://www.thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com/**

A while ago, I wrote about how I let love in.  A reader asked me to speak more about how I was able to do this.  And honestly, a key part of letting love in is...letting love OUT.  False love... that is.

Last week in my "Theories of Counseling" class, we covered Existential Theory, which focuses on themes in our lives.  One of those themes is "loving".  To practice our counseling skills, we do roleplays with partners in class.  For the roleplay to be effective, you have to use your own experiences.  I went back to the time when I let my ex's false love OUT and my (now) husband's love IN. I could remember my exact feelings, every rationalization, and every excuse. I remembered how when it was over, I kept referring back to how it USED to be.  And honestly, I developed an image of him that was far better than the person he truly was. (A false self...as my class partner called it.)

Last weekend, I watched " Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past". It wasn't a good movie. It wasn't particularly funny. But there was one quote that stuck with me.

 "The person who cares less has the power in the relationship."

If you want to know how to let love out or if you want to know if you are in a healthy relationship...then refer to this quote.  If you are in a relationship where your significant other "cares less" or holds all the "power" a.k.a. one-sided, then walk away.  That is NOT love.  No relationship is ever perfect. Everyone has problems. Obstacles will arise.  But the key to a lasting relationship, is a DEEP mutual love and affection for eachother. Period.