The Natural Hair Movement: Putting it Into Perspective

It's February. Black History Month. So it's only seems fitting that we discuss the "Natural Hair Movement".  Well, first I provide a disclaimer.   I don't ascribe to the "Natural Hair Movement". Nor do I believe in the "Natural Hair Community" and here's why...

Natural hair can be empowering. To wear the hair you were born with after years of altering its texture changes how you see yourself -- both literally and figuratively. But for some,they take it too far. They deem themselves better than those who don't relax. Come up with rules on what it means to truly be "natural".  They judge. They assume. They create division. They hurt.. far more than they help.

Let that marinate.

Now digest.

Natural hair does not make you progressive. Relaxed hair does not make you complacent. They are not mutally exclusive. The "movement" and "community" should be about the sharing of information and healthy discussion. But it's not. And it's sad.

Moving forward, I hope to see a change in the "natural hair community". One that does not judge or have pre-conceived notions about others based upon how they wear their hair. One whose bickering does not turn away the very people they want to help.

What are your thoughts? Let's discuss.

Around the Way Curls Feature

I've been featured on Around the Way Curls! Check it out!

Before Meets After: Mommy Transformation

You see that AFTER? I worked HARD for that. REALLY HARD.

As a mom, it takes serious effort to look good. And I swear, I will NEVER have the details down like I did before kids.  But I'm OKwith that. As long as I don't take the easy road and bum it out.  I remember when I was a new mom on a trip to Babiesrus. One of the workers was surprised that I looked so good. I had on an easy, figure-flattering summer dress. Some of the other moms didn't...  Being a mom is hard. But I refuse to dress in a way that announces it to the world. 

With that said, let's discuss how hard it was to get to after....

This is me. The morning of the event.  You see... the night before I started my hair at 9 p.m. after my hubby and I put the kids to bed. I detangled, wash and deep conditioned, and then realized that the shampoo re-tangled my hair a bit. I was over it. Beyond over it. So, instead of fighting with my hair, I banded it so that it would not dry shrunken.  It took less than 5 minutes and I saved my hair from me ripping it out. I then painted my nails and went to bed.  (Mind you, I never paint my nails because I'm always scared they will get chipped.)

The next morning, we got the kids up and went through our morning routine. I then braided my oldest daughter's hair in case my hubby wanted to take the girls out. Remember those nails that I never paint, because I'm scared they will chip? They chipped. 

Once the girls were all set. I removed my nail polish and got to work on my hair. I pulled out the blow dryer to get my hair 80% dry. I pulled my hair back into puff and rolled it forward. I twisted the front to give it some texture.  

After a minor freak out about what to wear, I decided to stop at the mall to pick up a tank for my sheer top. (All the others were stained or stretched. I'm a mom, remember?)  While at the mall, I also picked up concealer. (I obviously can't make it to the mall often. I need start using mail order. ) I met my mom and my sis at my mom's house. I finished getting dressed, released and pinned my twists, and put on my makeup.  

Phew! I'm tired just recapping this story. It was a struggle, but I made it. And I felt good about how great I looked. (Great confidence builder, I tell ya...)

Jenell (another mom) of Kinkycurlycoilyme.com

at New Hair Resolutions 2013

How do you look fabulous despite your busy schedule?

Hair Typing 101 (Part 2)

In part one of the hair typing series, I broke down the various aspects of hair typing: curl pattern, porosity, texture, density, and elasticity.  But now the question is...how do you put this information into practice?

The easiest way to explain this is to use myself as an example.

When I  first went natural. I was quite confused.  Everyone was throwing around terms, products I had to try, and declaring curl types left and right.  Needless to say, I purchased product after product...that didn't work.

That is when I started to take the time to truly understand my hair.  And not just the Andre Walker Typing System, which is limited in its utility.  I learned about various aspects of hair typing so I could better understand how to moisturize and style my hair.  And that is when I had my major breakthrough.

For the record, I am a 3C (in my crown), 4A and 4B in some sections. But honestly, all you need to know is that I have kinky hair. From that, you know that it is more difficult for hair sebum to reach the ends of my hair.  Other than that, it is just aesthetics. The size of my curl.

For me, the most useful information is "porosity".  I guess if I had normal porosity, it wouldn't be so important to me. But since I have low porosity. It is.  Let me explain low porosity a little more so that you can better understand my dilemma.  I was that girl who kept the relaxer in longer, because it just woudn't "take". And today, I'm that girl who stands under the shower head FOREVER because it takes forever for my hair to feel wet.  Products that others rave about just sit on top of my hair without "penetrating".  It is truly an art to get moisture into my hair.  But as I studied more about porosity and perked up my ears when others described having the same issues, a whole new world opened up for me. [And I must point out, I learned about moisturizing my hair from those whose hair looked NOTHING like mine. ]So armed with this information, I'm an aloe vera, mimosa hair honey, spritz bottle toting gal. All because I KNOW how to moisturize my hair. Think about it this way.  You wouldn't buy makeup foundation without knowing whether your skin is dry, normal, or oil would you? So why would you do that when buying hair products?

To me, the second most useful is hair texture. I have medium-thick strands. You know all those people who fear heat damage? I'm not one of them. I'm not saying I can't heat damage my hair -- because I have -- but it is harder for me to do so. Why, you ask? Because my strands are thicker. They are more resilient.  Due to trial and error, I've learned my heat limits.  In fact, for me, wash and gos cause way more damage to my hair.  But for some, with finer strands, heat can seriously wreak havoc on their hair. But if you know your hair texture, you are better prepared to deal with heat and mechanical damage concerns.

The other two typing,  I don't really think about it. My hair has a lot of shrinkage and I've embraced it. My hair is dense. Very dense. I've embraced that too.  Detangling is more of a challenge for me, but I have a very full and vibrant head of hair.

So I guess you would say this is more of a testimonial... 

Each hair types with its own their pros and cons. But if you take the time to learn  your hair, the pros will far outweigh the cons.

What questions do you have about hair typing?  What additional information would you like me to provide on this blog?

Girl Crush

As a new mom, I struggle with finding a routine that allows me to balance family, career... and ME. The first video in the Girl Crush series was very refreshing. It was great to know other moms leave the house with minimal (or no) makeup just like me. I will admit that I have the lofty goal of wearing some makeup. Right now, I only use a moisturizer (it's not even tinted), clear mascara, lipgloss,and my eyebrow brush. (Does the eyebrow brush even count?) I'm also trying to be more consistent with eating a healthy, balanced diet and daily exercise.  I'm a work in progress, but for now I'm taking things one day at at time.

Black Hair Media Articles

If you didn't notice, I am a staff writer for Black Hair Media. For your convenience, I have included links in the menu bar and in the left column. Please feel free to check out my "Natural Corner" and comment.  Here are some of my most recent articles:

Product Review of Qhemet Biologics
Hair Products for Less than $5
Scalp Soothing Remedies
Clay as a Shampoo Alternative
Washing and Detanglng Natural Hair
Making the Most of a Hair Show
Twistout Tips
Hair Product Recipes

Hair Typing Series

Andre Walker Typing System
Hair Texture

Please check out the articles and let me know what you think!

Ten Dumbest Things I've Ever Done to My Hair (a.k.a. Ten Reasons I'm Lucky To Still Have Hair)

I've said it before.  My hair is resilient.  The other day, I thought back to all the horrible things I've done to my hair and realized... I am REALLY lucky to still have hair.  Seriously!  I should be bald.  Or at least have bald spots or thin hair.  But despite my abuse, my hair is still as thick and luscious as it was prior to the abuse.  So that you can learn from my hair mistakes, get a good laugh, and in some cases stop worrying so much about damaging your hair (permanently)...I present the TEN DUMBEST THINGS I'VE DONE TO MY HAIR.

#1  Let's start with the obvious. Shall we?  (Points above.) Last week, I decided to straighten my hair.  I learned about the chasing method and I just had to see how long my hair had grown. So I pulled out my blow dryer and flat iron. Now my mistake was not straightening my hair. 99% of my hair reverted to its original curl. But there is one piece who's curl is not as tight as it should be. You see....when I first turned on my flat iron, it was set to 400 degrees. When I noticed, I turned it down to 350 degrees. I walked away for about a minute. But I was impatient, passed it through my hair and realized it was still too hot.  LESSON LEARNED: Don't be impatient when detangling or styling your hair with heat.  If you do some damage, bring out the protein and deep conditioners.  (It should be fine though. I won't lose any sleep over it.)

#2 Number two has nothing to do with me --at least not directly.  (But you'll understand why this makes number 2 later.) While my mom had a relaxer in her hair, she decided to answer the phone. She chatted for who knows how long.  When she finally washed it out, her hair came out in clumps.  And I let my mother put a relaxer in my hair, AFTER hearing this story....

#3 When I was a little kid, my mom knew how to style my hair.  Unfortunately, she used old school methods for detangling.  I'll be honest.  My hair was washed (maybe) every two months. And when it was washed, it involved me running away from the comb. My mom was vicious!  Detangling did not involve loads of leave-in conditioners and oils, like today.  We once snapped a blow dryer in half, trying to blow dry my hair.  It is a miracle that my hair still grew despite it all.

#4 When I was a little kid, I loved to unravel the ends of my plaits/braid and play with the ends of my hair.  When I got my first relaxer for my fifth grade graduation, the hairdresser had a hard time getting my ends straight.  She looked at me, and asked, "Did you unravel the ends of your braids?!"  Guilty as charged.  I probably broke off quite a few strands in the process too.

#5 Remember #2?  Here is where it applies.  In junior high, my mom once relaxed my hair so badly that all of my roots were burnt to my scalp.  [Yes, I should be bald right now.]  I went to the school nurse and she looked at my like I had two heads. My solution was to treat the burns with vaseline and slowly pull my hair off my scalp over the course of a few weeks. (Yes, it was painful.)  To add insult to injury, burns were part of the usual ritual.  I got into the habit of searching my head and picking scabs after every relaxer.  My mother and professionals alike burned me religiously until my early 20s.  

#6  Imagine me... Age 12. Summer camp every weekday. Swimming every other day.  Guess who didn't wash her hair when she got out the pool? ME! Guess who's hair turned red and orange? MINE! Guess who's hair broke off on the right side of her head? MINE.  I had to stop relaxing that side of my hair during my eighth grade year. I cornrowed it and  did a side swoop with the rest of my hair.  It was finally long enough for a relaxer by eighth graduation.  LESSONS LEARNED: (1)Don't put relaxers in kids' hair.(2) Don't add trauma to damaged hair. Give it time to rejuvenate.

#7 By sophomore year in college, my hair had grown pretty long...for the first time in my life.  (BSL, maybe.) For seven months, I wore braids and extensions (no relaxer).  Because I was working at Macy's, I decided to utilize my 20% discount at the salon. Bad idea! Not only did she burn me, but she cut my hair!  My BSL hair was cut to my shoulders.   I was so livid, I wanted to cry.  LESSONS LEARNED: Don't be cheap with your hair.

#8 My senior year in college, I did my usual extensions to accommodate my strenuous dance schedule.  When I braided my hair, I decided to try a product that bonded your braids so they wouldn't unravel.  When I took out my braids, my ends were see through (my dad cut off 2-3 inches) and my hair was limp. It dried out my hair!  To make matters worse, I put highlights on my damaged hair.  ( I was stressed out and didn't care at that point.)  It took about two years to fully grow out the damaged hair (including a bang by default).  I didn't wear braids again for two years sans braid bonder.

 Two years later, sans braid bonding nonsense.

My hair two years later-- in grad school.  Check out that big hair!

#9 When I worked in Baltimore, I was desperate to find a hairdresser.  So I looked up a Dominican salon. Ventured to other (bad) side of town.  I couldn't go wrong with a Dominican relaxer and blowout, right? Wrong!  Why? Because in Baltimore they believe in relaxing from root to tip.  Luckily, all of my hair didn't break off.  I stopped wearing relaxers for a while after that.  To add insult to injury, my Dominican salon in Delaware got rude. My usual stylist refused to touch my hair.  The new stylist pulled and tugged at my hair, saying "Duro, duro, malo, malo" as she proceeded to explain to a guy in the shop how she did such thick and bad  hair.  I told her multiple times to stop talking about me, because I understood Spanish.  My hair was burning so badly that I wanted to run over to the sink and wash it out! Sigh.  LESSONS LEARNED: (1) Speak up for yourself in a stylist's chair. (2) Find a stylist you trust, who also appreciates your hair.  My stylist marvels at the thickness of my hair.  (Too bad she doesn't do natural hair...sigh.)

#10 By far, the dumbest thing I've done to my hair... My trusty hair dryer for years started to fall apart (held together with electrical tape) and even started to smoke.  I still used it, telling myself that I need to buy a new one.  Meanwhile, my hair was feeling limp and I couldn't figure out why.  It couldn't be my trusty hair dryer, could it? I've had it for years!  Well, I finally figured out the source. With one pass of the hairdryer, the hair on the back, left side of my head only reached my shoulders.  I stood in the mirror asking, "Where is my hair? What happened?"  A week later, I was at the hairdresser...cutting off the damaged ends only 10 months before my wedding.

Luckily, I thought it was cute.  I loved it so much that I planned to grow it back for the wedding and cut it all off again.  And we all know what happened....hello Rihanna cut and the impetus for me to go natural.  So in the end... one of the worst things I've done to my hair, was one of the best things I could have done.

Ten months later, I had enough hair for a lavish wedding updo.  (Sigh of relief)

Although I've done a lot of of damaging things to my hair, I've obviously done some things rights. Otherwise, I would be bald. So next week, I will follow up with... "TEN BEST THINGS I'VE DONE FOR MY HAIR (AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT")

In the meantime, what are the dumbest things you've done to your hair? Let's discuss.

Vintage Post: Standards of Beauty - Nappy Like Me

An old school pic of me taking my lil sis to a high school dance.  We both rodded our hair.  I styled her hair into a cute coif.

I was a teenager when I was first introduced to the book, "Black Like Me" by John Howard Griffin. I was watching an episode of "Boy Meets World" [don't act like you didn't watch it too], when Mr. Feeney presented the book in class. The book is the chronicle of a white male journalist who took anti-vitiligo drugs to live as a black man for six weeks in the segregated south. I was intrigued by the storyline and immediately ventured to the bookstore. [If you've never read it, I strongly recommend that you add it to your summer reading list.]

The lesson learned from this book is that you never truly understand a person’s story until you walk a day in their shoes. You hear the “inside” conversations of their peer group and internalize how “outsiders” [you or others who look like you] treat them.

A few years ago, I had a “Nappy Like Me” experience, while attending a conference for an organization that works to improve college access for inner-city youths. As you can imagine, there were many pro-active, intelligent young professionals in attendance. At the time, I was on one of my anti-relaxer (no chemical straightening) bouts. For months, I was growing out my natural hair so I tightly rodded my hair [a much tighter curl than above].

While conversing with a young man (with a short, curly afro) he stated, “It’s great to see black women who appreciate their natural hair. Women with relaxers and weaves lack self-confidence and are uncomfortable with who they are.” What/! Is he talking about me? I lack self-confidence? Is that how “naturals” view me?

TO BE CONTINUED… (I embark on my natural journey…AGAIN)

In the meantime...have you ever wondered how other social groups view you? Have you ever wanted to be an insider to get the “real” scoop?