Often, we start the journey of self-love from the outside in. That's the premise of "What Not To Wear" on TLC. The fashion victims didn't feel they were worthy enough, thin enough, or pretty enough for nice clothing. So they matched their self-loathing with frumpy clothes. With a catharsis of their wardrobe, and a renewal of makeup, hair, and clothing...the journey just begins.
But although the journey can start there, we have to be weary of being stuck there. Using the guise of makeup and hair, to feign self-love doesn't fool anyone. (Cue Heidi Montag. 10 procedures, one day.)
Let's be honest. Self-loathing is self-destructive. It is a magnet for people who will undervalue and take advantage of you. Trust me. I know. I spent my entire life being the scrawny nerd, who could clean up well every once in a while. By my freshman year in college, I finally figured out how to fix the outside. But working on the underlying layers took a lot longer. I attracted the type of guys that I mentioned before. They saw my vulnerability and like vultures they pounced on their prey.
I pass on this lesson, not because I'm bitter. I'm not. I've grown immensely because of my life experiences. I wouldn't erase even the dark times, if it will get me to the point where I am today. I say this because, before you make any resolution... you need to tackle this one first. You can't be loved the way you want to, or love the way you want to...until you love yourself.
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