Welcome

Welcome to "Busy Life. Fab Hair.", a blog dedicated to helping natural women fit their hair routine into their busy lifestyles. Here, you will not only learn how to cut your styling time, but how to embark on your natural hair journey in a more formalized manner. And, of course, you will find tidbits on how to manage various aspects of a busy life.

How to Navigate...

The official launch date for the blog is January 1, 2013.  You will notice that there are various posts in December  -- including posts entitled "Vintage Posts".  These are posts imported from my old blog, "The Quarter Life Chronicles".  This is used to indicate that the particular post is from an earlier point in my hair and life journey.

In the top menu bar, you will find links to all "life" posts in the "Busy Life" section and all "hair" posts in the "Fab Hair" section.  You will also find links for my "Black Hair Media" articles and "Tumblr".  You can also find posts by using the "Search" feature" in the top right hand corner. Another great trick is to utilize the "labels" links at the bottom of each post. I am working on fine tuning the organization of the blog so that topics are easy to find. If you have any comments or suggestions, please e-mail me at busylifefabhair(at)gmail.com.

In the left column, you will find my features on popular blogs and websites. It is a great place to start if you would like to learn more about me and my hair regimen.

How to Follow...

There are many ways to follow me and the blog.  (Check out my social media links in the top right hand corner.)

Follow me on Facebook.

Follow me on Instagram. (I am VERY active there.)

Follow me on Twitter.

Follow me via Feedburner.

Follow me on Tumblr.

How to Contact Me...

E-mail me at busylifefabhair(at)gmail.com with any business inquiries or general questions.

Submit photos and questions to my Tumblr.

Re-Authoring Your Story

Last spring, in my "Theories of Counseling" course,  I was introduced to Adlerian Theory. In his theory, progress in  therapy was marked by changes in early childhood recollections.  I understood the theory-- enough to do well on the test.  But it wasn't until my "Student Affairs" course --which borrows from psychology and sociology -- this fall that I truly got it.  In one of my readings, we learned about "re-authoring your story".  According to this, a student reached maturity when they learned how to "re-author their story". It was then that I truly got it.  Here is my interpretation...

What does it mean to "re-author your story"?  Does the plot change?  Does the outcome of the villain change? Are chapters of the story wiped out? If only it were that easy...

When you re-author your story, you change the one aspect of the story that you can control. YOU.  When you read a novel, the author's voice sets the tone of the story.  The inflections of voice and reflections on occurrences, change how the story is told and how it is perceived to readers.  In life, the same holds true. Although you may not be able to rewrite your story, you do have the ability to re-author it.

I have learned that in life it is easy to play the role of the victim.  It is easy to focus on how life isn't fair and dwell on the hand you've been dealt.  But sadly, playing the victim doesn't get you anywhere in life. Why?  Because when you perceive yourself as being the victim of your circumstances, you relinquish all of your power.  Think about it. In every story you have read, when has the victim overcome their circumstances?  When they stopped wallowing in self-pity, and decided to do something.  They did what was hard.  They stopped being the victim.

It's easier said than done. I know.  Some have been dealt the hand of broken homes, great betrayal, abuse, and other horror stories.  But what are your choices?  Play the victim and subject yourself to further abuse.  (You've seen such stories on TV on shows like Intervention and in real life --your neighbors, your families, and in the reflection in  your mirror.) Or you can move forward with your life...

Too many times we seek healing in an apology that many times may never come.  The closure you seek is within yourself.  When I understood this, I finally got the saying, "You have to forgive others, not for them, but for yourself."  When you forgive, you take back that power that they once held over you.  When you forgive, you allow yourelf to move forward in life. Otherwise, you remain stuck. Because while you've been fixated on the pain that person inflicted, they moved on a long time ago. Probably the second after the occurrence.  While you remained stuck, their life went on.  Thus, you've given them power, far beyond the hurt they inflicted upon you.  When you forgive them, you take back that power. 

Re-authoring your story doesn't happen overnight.  It may take weeks, months, and in some cases ... years.  You will never forget the pain. But you can choose to stop inflicting pain upon yourself. You can stop using it as your excuse for your poor choices.  You can move on.  Otherwise, you will remain stuck.  I learned that lesson many years ago.  And I haven't looked back since.... (Maybe, every once in a while I'll take a glance. But, I've learned to not let it hold me back.)

Let's Discuss.

Straight vs. Curly

No  it's not a straight vs. curly debate. I'm so beyond tired of those debates.

I decided to develop a reference chart for what my hair likes in its straight and curly states.  I figured it may be a helpful resource.

Does anyone else have any other straight vs. curly tips?

Guest Post: Resume Writing Tips

I am pleased to present today's guest post by Zakia Johnson. We attended high school and college together. So when she announced that she will be offering resume writing consultations (resumedivaz@gmail.com ), I asked her to do a guest post. Here she shares her own experience and provides great resume writing tips!

Zakia Johnson is a counselor and adjunct faculty member at Howard Community College. Prior to joining the Howard Community College staff, she was employed at the University of Maryland Baltimore County as an academic advisor and program coordinator for the Erickson School where she assisted students in their academic, internship, and career development. She discovered her passion in student advocacy through her experiences as a student and staff member at the University of Delaware where she received her B.A in Criminal Justice/Sociology and her M.Ed. in College Counseling. Currently, she is actively pursuing her Ph.D. in Higher Education Administration. She also is an active member of the Maryland and Delaware communities through her work as a mentor for My Sister’s Circle (in Baltimore, MD), Chair of the Board of Directors for Teens In Perspective, Inc. (serving the entire state of Delaware), and an active alum serving on the University of Delaware Black Alumni Organization's Homecoming Committee. Zakia lives in Randallstown, MD with her husband and daughter. She is ecstatic to encourage, empower, and educate students, colleagues, and peers to be active and contributing citizens!

As we all know, the job market is suffering and the people of the United States are struggling even more. The unemployment rate is at an all time low (as of June 2011, 9.2% Ref.http://www.bls.gov/cps/ ). I personally experienced the devastating impact of being laid off. In May of 2009, I was laid off from my former employer due to budget cuts from the company funding our department. Many of us in education often assume that we will ALWAYS have a job. As an active and successful higher education administrator, I never thought in a million years that I would be without a job. Boy was I up for a rude awakening! I took the 9 months I was laid off to reflect on my personal and career goals, became an active volunteer for two non-profit organizations, and revamped my resume. I literally sent out over 100 resumes and cover letters to different higher education institutions for varying positions. I was perplexed as to why I only received a few phone interviews, a handful of on-campus interviews, and several rejection letters. Clearly I was well qualified and capable of being a successful employee for most if not all the positions I applied for. So, I decided to review my resume again and identify what I needed to allow my resume to stand out from the hundreds of resumes recruiters see on a daily basis.

Below are some of the tips/tricks I used to make myself marketable and I believe they can be useful for anyone currently job searching:

1. Use design that grabs attention

The design of your resume must highlight the most important information about your work experience, skills and education. At first glance this information forms the image that employers have of your skills and abilities.

2. Create content that sells

Resume design should get attention but it's really the content of your resume, the descriptions you include of your skills and abilities, that determine how many interviews you generate--as well as the level of salary offers you receive.

3. Tweak & target your resumes & cover letters

You will generate many more interviews by tweaking your resume and cover letter so that they address the specific skills each employer requests.

4. Spell Check & Proofread Grammar

I have been told by many recruiters and employers that they've passed on resumes that have grammar and spelling errors throughout the resume/cover letter. I strongly encourage you not only to use the spell check program in Word, but also go through your cover letters/resumes with a fine tooth comb to ensure there are no errors in either document--it could be the determining factor of whether you get an interview or not!

5. Consider a bulleted style to make your resume reader-friendly.

6. Don't stress yourself out by adhering to the one-page resume rule.

It's good to keep your resume to one page, if possible. But if you have a lot of experience, two pages may be more appropriate. If your resume spills beyond one page, but you have less than a half a page of material for the second page, it may be best to condense to one page.

7. Do NOT lie on your resume--the truth shall set you free!

8. Make sure that each page of your resume has your name on it.

Sometimes recruiters/employers/search committees can lose pages. I would recommend making your first and last name the header of each page after the first (since the first page should already have your name and contact info on it).

9. Do consider a section such as "Summary of Qualifications," or "Profile," which can also help sharpen your focus. Here is an example from my own resume:

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

Professional Profile

· Resourceful, creative problem-solver with proven aptitude to analyze and translate student development theories into practice.

· Proficient educator who has designed and implemented innovative approaches to student learning in traditional and non-traditional educational settings.

· Organized administrator with effective oral and written communication skills.

· Dynamic leader with the ability to articulate the varying approaches/models for multicultural education.

· Visionary professional with proven aptitude to develop and implement departmental short and long range goals.

· Collaborative team player with demonstrated ability to interact well with a diverse group of people at a local, national, or global level

· Efficient in Microsoft Program Use: PowerPoint, Word, and Excel

10. Be mindful of how you display professionalism in your resume--your first impression is often your last! 

Using your email address from college or high school (e.g. cutiepie19@hotmail.com or the mandingo92@yahoo.com ) is not displaying the best first impression. 

Remember, your resume is not the only tool to get you the job, but it will definitely assist in getting your foot in the door for the first interview...the rest is up to you and how you market yourself! 

If you are interested in having your resume and/or cover letter created/reviewed/revamped by Zakia Johnson, please send an email to resumedivaz@gmail.com.

Zakia Johnson, M.Ed.

Guest Post: 5 Tips for Successful Menu Planning

Today, as part of Blog Love Friday, we have a guest post from TiAnna from"The Fab Life For...Free" .

For me, there’s nothing worse than coming home to an emaciated husband and child searching for dinner, only to find that there’s nothing thawed out and the food that we have in our house won’t make a complete meal. Then there’s the grueling follow-up questions of: “What should we do?” and “Where should we go to get something to eat”. I admit, my men are spoiled, but they depend on me for nourishment, and I don’t mind that because I know how to cook a balanced meal at the cheapest price, and they on the other hand have a long way to go in learning how to do that. Everyone is drained of energy and time zapped these days. Between an hour commute to work, overtime, soccer games, and dance practice, that leaves dinner some where between a McDonald’s drive thru and Hamburger Helper. Which, I’m not bashing either option, but obviously you can’t live healthily on those choices alone.

Menu planning has helped me to save an average of $280/ month, I don’t throw as much food away, my family definitely eats better and we stay within a reasonable daily calorie count, and I have more time to do the things that I want to do, like exercise.

Here are five tips to help you get started.

1. Plan ahead in reasonable increments. For instance, I menu plan for two weeks at a time, because I do my household budget in two week increments, and I know I probably won’t make it to the store any more frequent than that.

2. Choose your meals wisely and give yourself grace. So, you saw a stuffed porkchop with pear sauce and asparagus and garlic mashed potato recipe that you’d like to try, but you’ve never made it. It’s always great to try new things, however, don’t plan to make this meal on the day you have Zumba class at 6:30 pm, you get off work at 5 pm, and have to get your kids from daycare at 5:30 pm. That is not a realistic goal, and you will only discourage yourself. Plan to make a meal like this when you have more time, possibly a Sunday dinner.

3. Build your plan with insurance. Build in leftover days, date nights, and “fun” food nights. I enjoy cooking, however, the meals that I prepare can be time consuming. Therefore, I build my men-plan to accommodate 3-4 cooking days and 3-4 leftover days, which works beautifully for my schedule. Depending on my evening commitments during any given season, I tend to cook Friday thru Monday and have leftovers Tuesday thru Thursday. Also, if you know you only have a small window of time to prepare dinner, then make sure you schedule that day as a leftover day, eating out day, or even better…frozen food day. I really enjoy Stouffer’s Lasagna’s and Bertolli pasta. These meals are quick , not too bad for you, and don’t require much prep work or clean up. Although, if you have a large family, these options may not work for you.

4. Build your plan with sales, holidays, and parties in mind. If you know you’re having a huge family Thanksgiving dinner party and there will be a ton of leftovers, make sure to have as many leftover days as your family can stand, then freeze the rest, and bring it back out in a month or so. We all know that it costs to put on a dinner party, and let’s not mention all the prep work; capitalize on all the time and money spent by giving yourself a break through leftover days. Also, if you are an avid couponer or really search through the sale ads, then plan your meals around the reduced cost items that you find. For instance, leading up to Memorial Day you can find meats, corn on the cob, barbeque sauce, and paper towels for a lot cheaper than they normally are, and that is the time to stock up on those items and put them into your plan

5. If you fall off the wagon…GET BACK ON AGAIN!!!

Here is my menu plan from January of this year. Please notice the scratch outs and write-overs; that’s called…GRACE! If something happens and your plan changes, don’t be so rigid that you can’t modify the plan. Wow…pizza 3 NIGHTS in a row!!! I can’t remember, but I must’ve been VERY busy at that time. Also, notice how there’s plenty of leftover days, and we also planned to have a meal out on certain days. This schedule is posted on my refrigerator for all to see; so it takes a lot of the uncertainty away for the hubsters and TrentMan.

Do you menu plan? What tips could you share that would be helpful in regards to menu-planning?

Guest Post: Protective Style Options

As promised, the posts will return this week after a long hiatus. I am currently uploading pics to my computer to prepare for my post. In the meantime, please check out this guest post from Dominique-Alexis of natural-hair-care-info.com. In her post, she talks about protective styling...something I need to do during the winter months.

By now I’m sure that all naturals are aware of the benefits of wearing two strand twists. They help keep moisture in your curls, they can be done on hair of all lengths, and you get a bonus style when you unravel them!

But do you know just how versatile twists can be? Here I’m going to talk about seven different ways that you can wear twists (two strand, three strand, sister, etc) besides the typical full set kind.

One: Half braided

I did this by braiding the top half of my younger sister’s twists and securing it with a purple Flexi8 hair clip. The clip is totally optional, of course. A hair elastic or hair clip would work as well.

Two: Twisted updo

There’s no right or wrong way to do this hair style. All you need is a hair clip, a banana clip, or bobby pins. Gather your twists in the back of your head and pin them in place with the hair accessory of your choice. You can also leave a few twists out in the front for bangs.

Three: Flat twisted & pinned

I achieved this look by adding four flat twists on either side of my sister’s head before putting the rest of her hair in two strand twists. After that I rolled, pinned, and tucked the twists until I got a braided updo look. Super cute and great for the office!
Four: Twists & cornrows

For this hair style I added five side cornrows before twisting up the rest of her hair. If you don’t know how to cornrow yet, then you can always do some flat twists instead.

Five: Braided twists

Okay so this one is pretty self-explanatory. I simply put my sister’s twists in a Dutch braid, which is the same thing as a cornrow. I’m sure a French braid would look as nice if not better, but I haven’t yet mastered that braid so I stuck with the Dutch braid.

Six: Braided updo

I had my sister lean over her bed with her hair hanging over the edge, then I Dutch braided her twists going towards the top of her head. Lastly, I secured it with a couple of bobby pins and added a bright yellow flower.

Seven: Tied twists

This is a great hair style for the office, weddings, and as a bonus it’s super protective. Start by gathering three twists in each hand at the very top of the head and tie them like you would for the first part of tying your shoelace. Now move down a little, gather a few more twists on either side right below that knot and tie those. Keep repeating until you get to the nape of your neck and end by tucking your ends underneath.

And that’s it! There are so many different ways that you can wear twists! Who says protective hairstyles have to be boring?

Vintage Post: Love Thyself

An important lesson I've learned in life is to love God, love myself... then love everyone else.  Too many times we don't love the skin we're in and we search for solace in clothes, men (women, for you guys out there), hair, makeup, [insert your vice here].

Often, we start the journey of self-love from the outside in.  That's the premise of "What Not To Wear" on TLC. The fashion victims didn't feel they were worthy enough, thin enough, or pretty enough for nice clothing.  So they matched their self-loathing with frumpy clothes.  With a catharsis of their wardrobe, and a renewal of makeup, hair, and clothing...the journey just begins.

But although the journey can start there, we have to be weary of being stuck there.  Using the guise of makeup and hair, to feign self-love doesn't fool anyone. (Cue Heidi Montag. 10 procedures, one day.)

Let's be honest. Self-loathing is self-destructive.  It is a magnet for people who will undervalue and take advantage of you. Trust me. I know.  I spent my entire life being the scrawny nerd, who could clean up well every once in a while.  By my freshman year in college, I finally figured out how to fix the outside.  But working on the underlying layers took a lot longer.  I attracted the type of guys that I mentioned before. They saw my vulnerability and like vultures they  pounced on their prey.

I pass on this lesson, not because I'm bitter.  I'm not.  I've grown immensely because of my life experiences.  I wouldn't erase even the dark times, if it will get me to the point where I am today.  I say this because, before you make any resolution... you need to tackle this one first.  You can't be loved the way you want to, or love the way you want to...until you love yourself.