Vintage Post: Standards of Beauty - Nappy Like Me

An old school pic of me taking my lil sis to a high school dance.  We both rodded our hair.  I styled her hair into a cute coif.

I was a teenager when I was first introduced to the book, "Black Like Me" by John Howard Griffin. I was watching an episode of "Boy Meets World" [don't act like you didn't watch it too], when Mr. Feeney presented the book in class. The book is the chronicle of a white male journalist who took anti-vitiligo drugs to live as a black man for six weeks in the segregated south. I was intrigued by the storyline and immediately ventured to the bookstore. [If you've never read it, I strongly recommend that you add it to your summer reading list.]

The lesson learned from this book is that you never truly understand a person’s story until you walk a day in their shoes. You hear the “inside” conversations of their peer group and internalize how “outsiders” [you or others who look like you] treat them.

A few years ago, I had a “Nappy Like Me” experience, while attending a conference for an organization that works to improve college access for inner-city youths. As you can imagine, there were many pro-active, intelligent young professionals in attendance. At the time, I was on one of my anti-relaxer (no chemical straightening) bouts. For months, I was growing out my natural hair so I tightly rodded my hair [a much tighter curl than above].

While conversing with a young man (with a short, curly afro) he stated, “It’s great to see black women who appreciate their natural hair. Women with relaxers and weaves lack self-confidence and are uncomfortable with who they are.” What/! Is he talking about me? I lack self-confidence? Is that how “naturals” view me?

TO BE CONTINUED… (I embark on my natural journey…AGAIN)

In the meantime...have you ever wondered how other social groups view you? Have you ever wanted to be an insider to get the “real” scoop?

Hair Is Dead

I've been debating whether or not to write about this, but I have to air this out and move on.  I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there is a lot of cattiness and judgement in the natural hair blogging/vlogging world.  It's annoying.  And frankly, I 'm over it.

My first encounter with this type of behavior was on Youtube.  A young lady, who was in beauty school, decided to cut, dye, and straighten (with a flat iron) her long curls for a hair show.  She was berated.  She deleted her Youtube channel. Then came the argument that those who relax their hair hate themselves. Then came the arguments about hair typing. Then came the argument about those who straighten their natural hair not repping the "natural hair movement". Now we have the argument that those who decide to do twist-outs or use products to define their curls are not comfortable with the natural state of their hair.  Really? Really?!  I can't. So instead of defending choices that I make about MY hair, I'm making an affirmation. 

HAIR IS DEAD!

Hair is a non-essential part of the body. It's an accessory.  The body recognizes it and it's time we recognize it too.  When the body delivers nutrients, hair and nails are the last recipients.  Why? Because they are non-essential.  If you were a victim in a Saw movie and you had the choice to cut flesh or hair, it would be an easy choice. You wouldn't flinch. When you cut your hair, you don't bleed.  You could go bald and your daily functioning would not change.   Your scalp is alive. The choices you make can permanently affect it. But your hair is dead.  The products we place in our hair are simply to maintain something that is already dead.

We, as a culture, elevate the importance of hair to another plain.   Hair has a become a reflection of our own personal style and cultural influences.  I'm not a simpleton.  I get it.  I know the history of black hair and it's role in social caste and self-esteem.  But is it the root of the problem?  No.  It is only a symptom of a larger, much deeper problem.  Imagine. You are the doctor of a patient with an auto-immune disease who has caught a cold.  You can treat the cold, but you still have to address the long-term treatment of the auto-immune disease.  Treating the cold won't solve the underlying problem.  Similarly, I don't have an affinity to the "natural hair movement". I know that acceptance of natural hair needs to be addressed.  Despite this, I personally feel that I have bigger fish to fry. Issues like inequities in education and high incarceration rates trump natural hair by a long shot. 

 Besides... tossing disparaging remarks back and forth are not helpful.  I love an informative and healthy debate.  I studied public policy in graduate school.  A healthy debate was the cornerstone of my education.  These natural hair debates are NOT healthy  They are divisive. They are hurtful.  They are not progressive. 

So as a reminder to myself and anyone who happens to read this, I am making the affirmation...

HAIR IS DEAD!

Drops mic.

Let's Discuss.