In the past, I've talked about learning how to my love myself, and knowing my worth, but my struggle with the concept of the BC has me questioning, "Am I as confident as I think I am?"
Quite frankly, it's easy to be confident about your outward appearance if you meet society's standards of beauty. But what if you don't? At various points in my life, I've been underweight, had buck teeth, had braces, bad skin, and hair all over the place. As I got older, I learned to hold my head up high, despite my "malfunction" at the time. I knew how to feign confidence, even when I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. But was I truly confident? Or did I only regain my confidence once I corrected that "malfunction".
Right now, I think my "fake" TWA is adorable. (I call it fake because of my relaxed ends.) Those same relaxed ends I want to keep for length, are the same relaxed ends that take forever to curl and dry. I don't mind taking time to do my hair. The problem is...it's not long enough for a ponytail; and I can't simply wash and go. And THAT is what drives me nuts. There are days I just want something quick and neat. But to look presentable, my only option is a roller set. Plus, my natural roots are taking over and they need nurturing (water) that is very different than my relaxed ends.
After a day of checking out TWA and Big Chop videos, I noticed a recurring theme...Confidence. I'm beautiful. I just need to make the appointment. My hair will grow back. I need to let go of the West Indian concept that "your hair is your beauty". It's not.
I'm about to learn what true confidence is...
I got mad one day and cut off the relaxed ends in the back.
What is your definition of confidence?
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