"I have a feeling that she's coming today..." (A Baby Story: Part 1)

I recently came across the story of my first born, Mariah. So I figured I'd share her birth story.  While I'm at it, I'll work on Ava's birth story as well. It's still fresh in my mind although it was almost 8 months ago...

It was Tuesday, April 19th. My hubby and I were talking during our daily midday phone call and he said, "I have a feeling that she's coming today".  Why would my hubby would say such a thing when I wasn't due until May 12th?  Well, we had known for a while that I would go into early labor.  In fact, for two weeks I had been walking around a centimeter dilated (no big deal) and fully effaced (big deal).  Every day my husband would ask jokingly, "Are you ready to go to the hospital?"  But that day was different. Instead he said, " I have a feeling that she's coming today."

Fast forward to approximately 3 p.m.  I started to feel contractions. I walked from my office to the main office to sit with my co-worker. ( I didn't want to be by myself. ) I sat and breathed.  They were coming about 5 minutes apart. But I always feel contractions. I'm just overreacting. This is another false alarm.  I returned to my office.  They either subsided or I ignored them.  I proceeded to work on my numerous projects.  Not knowing when I would go into labor was nerve wracking. I have to tie up as many loose ends as possible.  I decided to stay late to get as much work done as I possibly could.

It was approaching 6 p.m. when I suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion. I leaned back in my chair and GUSH.  Did my water just break or did I just pee on myself?!  No, I couldn't be in labor. I went to the bathroom to pee. I peed. Then another GUSH. Ok. I'm definitely in labor.  I walked back to my office and called my doctor's after hours line.  They told me the doctor on duty would return my call. I proceeded to call my mom, my hubby, and my sister.  My mom said she would meet me at the hospital. My hubby had just gotten home so he would pick me up with my hospital bag.  My sister would meet me at my office since I work at her college. 

The doctor returned my phone call. He asked, "How do you know you are in labor?"

I replied, "Well I was sitting here and I felt water gushing.  Then I went to the bathroom and I gushed again. And as I am talking to you, I'm gushing AGAIN."

The doctor responded,  "Sounds like you are in labor." Duh.  "Clean yourself up, change your clothes, and then head to the hospital." Right... I'm at work. Great.

What now?  ( I was suprised by my calm temperament.)

I started to organize my desk based upon my various projects so that my co-workers could pick up where I left off.  (I knew I would not be back the next day. Once your water breaks, you MUST have the baby due to risk of infection.) I packed up my laptop and packed my work bag.

My sister arrived.  I asked her to walk down the hall with me to our work closet.  I was soaking wet and uncomfortable. I decided to get one of the beach towels that we award our seniors. In our common area, one of my students asked jokingly, "Hi Latoya! Have that baby yet?" Boy was he suprised by my answer.

 "Actually I'm in labor right now. My water just broke."


STAY TUNED FOR PICS AND PART 2 TOMORROW

Do what you love, love what you do (Part 2)

At age 21 with only a few bills (car insurance and cell phone), no rent, no responsibilities...why not?  Why not take the time to figure out what I REALLY wanted to do, rather than thrust myself into a career I would hate?

For three months, I did temp. work and took the time to figure it all out.  I looked back at my college years and I realized that I had suprisingly fallen in love with my job as a tour guide --- which was originally just a resume builder. (Go figure.) I applied for so many jobs I lost count. I landed an interview in the NY area, didn't get it. I was offered a job in Laurel, MD. My mom opposed to the move, so I took a job at the local Enterprise. (Worst decision ever!) After three months of customers telling me I was too smart for the job and grinding down my favorite pair of BCBG shoes, I had enough.  Just as I was about to send out applications for jobs and grad school, I got the call... from an admissions job I applied to in June.  A few interviews later, I was hired. 

A career as a college administrator is definitely not a job that rakes in the big bucks, but I know that as I progress in my career the money will come.  I have tons of apartment horror stories and Ramen Noodle tales to prove that it isn't easy.  But despite it all, I've fallen in love with my career.  Each day is different. Each day is a challenge.  And each day I learn more about myself.

Do what you love, love what you do.

Do what you love, love what you do

In life, when we think about love we think of God, our families, our significant others, even our clothes and  our cars. But too often, we neglect the one thing that monopolizes a majority of our lives --our jobs. Think about it.  Eight hours a day, five days a week, for forty-five years.  If not more.  You spend more time at work than with your family (especially in America where vacation is not part of our vocabulary).  So why wait till the weekend or retirement to do what you truly love?

While in college, I was given some valuable piece of advice,  "Do what you love and the money will come".  (But of course, I didn't heed this advice while IN college.)  I didn't truly understand the magnitude of this statement until I was unemployed after graduation...trying to figure out my next move and the rest of my life. 

Back then, I was a bonafide overachiever.  My major and career choices often centered on prestige and salary.  When researching colleges, my major was Computer Science. When I applied to college, my major was History (Pre-Law). When I enrolled in college, it was Business Administration. (I actually wanted Fashion Merchandising, but was afraid of the stigma.) 

Freshman year, I set foot in the Career Services Center to begin working on my resume. (I am now a resume expert due to the amount of time I spent tweaking mine.)  With a goal of working in the Fashion Industry, I worked in retail for over two years. I became a tour guide to improve my communication skills and a campus leader to strengthen my leadership skills.  Then came the culmination of my college experiences.  The summer before senior year, I landed a Store Management Internship and loved  loathed it. (What an anti-climax.)   As much as I loved clothes, I didn't love them enough to deal with the bureocracy of management (you will find that in any job) and the audacity of some customers. I needed something more to get me through the eight hour day.  But what?

My senior year became a year of self-discovery.  And while I tried to figure things out...I applied: 

-To entry-level Marketing jobs. (That I had absolutely no interest.) 

-To graduate school. (After speaking with the Human Resources Recruiter at my store, I thought I would       love that career.  An HR internship that Spring taught me that  HR Personnel are buried in paperwork and don't really deal with Humans.) 

I was offered jobs.
I was accepted to grad schools.
And I turned them all down. 

Why... you ask?

I'll let you know tomorrow.  (I didn't realize this would be so long.)

Before Meets After: Mommy Transformation

You see that AFTER? I worked HARD for that. REALLY HARD.

As a mom, it takes serious effort to look good. And I swear, I will NEVER have the details down like I did before kids.  But I'm OKwith that. As long as I don't take the easy road and bum it out.  I remember when I was a new mom on a trip to Babiesrus. One of the workers was surprised that I looked so good. I had on an easy, figure-flattering summer dress. Some of the other moms didn't...  Being a mom is hard. But I refuse to dress in a way that announces it to the world. 

With that said, let's discuss how hard it was to get to after....

This is me. The morning of the event.  You see... the night before I started my hair at 9 p.m. after my hubby and I put the kids to bed. I detangled, wash and deep conditioned, and then realized that the shampoo re-tangled my hair a bit. I was over it. Beyond over it. So, instead of fighting with my hair, I banded it so that it would not dry shrunken.  It took less than 5 minutes and I saved my hair from me ripping it out. I then painted my nails and went to bed.  (Mind you, I never paint my nails because I'm always scared they will get chipped.)

The next morning, we got the kids up and went through our morning routine. I then braided my oldest daughter's hair in case my hubby wanted to take the girls out. Remember those nails that I never paint, because I'm scared they will chip? They chipped. 

Once the girls were all set. I removed my nail polish and got to work on my hair. I pulled out the blow dryer to get my hair 80% dry. I pulled my hair back into puff and rolled it forward. I twisted the front to give it some texture.  

After a minor freak out about what to wear, I decided to stop at the mall to pick up a tank for my sheer top. (All the others were stained or stretched. I'm a mom, remember?)  While at the mall, I also picked up concealer. (I obviously can't make it to the mall often. I need start using mail order. ) I met my mom and my sis at my mom's house. I finished getting dressed, released and pinned my twists, and put on my makeup.  

Phew! I'm tired just recapping this story. It was a struggle, but I made it. And I felt good about how great I looked. (Great confidence builder, I tell ya...)

Jenell (another mom) of Kinkycurlycoilyme.com

at New Hair Resolutions 2013

How do you look fabulous despite your busy schedule?

Hair Typing 101 (Part 2)

In part one of the hair typing series, I broke down the various aspects of hair typing: curl pattern, porosity, texture, density, and elasticity.  But now the question is...how do you put this information into practice?

The easiest way to explain this is to use myself as an example.

When I  first went natural. I was quite confused.  Everyone was throwing around terms, products I had to try, and declaring curl types left and right.  Needless to say, I purchased product after product...that didn't work.

That is when I started to take the time to truly understand my hair.  And not just the Andre Walker Typing System, which is limited in its utility.  I learned about various aspects of hair typing so I could better understand how to moisturize and style my hair.  And that is when I had my major breakthrough.

For the record, I am a 3C (in my crown), 4A and 4B in some sections. But honestly, all you need to know is that I have kinky hair. From that, you know that it is more difficult for hair sebum to reach the ends of my hair.  Other than that, it is just aesthetics. The size of my curl.

For me, the most useful information is "porosity".  I guess if I had normal porosity, it wouldn't be so important to me. But since I have low porosity. It is.  Let me explain low porosity a little more so that you can better understand my dilemma.  I was that girl who kept the relaxer in longer, because it just woudn't "take". And today, I'm that girl who stands under the shower head FOREVER because it takes forever for my hair to feel wet.  Products that others rave about just sit on top of my hair without "penetrating".  It is truly an art to get moisture into my hair.  But as I studied more about porosity and perked up my ears when others described having the same issues, a whole new world opened up for me. [And I must point out, I learned about moisturizing my hair from those whose hair looked NOTHING like mine. ]So armed with this information, I'm an aloe vera, mimosa hair honey, spritz bottle toting gal. All because I KNOW how to moisturize my hair. Think about it this way.  You wouldn't buy makeup foundation without knowing whether your skin is dry, normal, or oil would you? So why would you do that when buying hair products?

To me, the second most useful is hair texture. I have medium-thick strands. You know all those people who fear heat damage? I'm not one of them. I'm not saying I can't heat damage my hair -- because I have -- but it is harder for me to do so. Why, you ask? Because my strands are thicker. They are more resilient.  Due to trial and error, I've learned my heat limits.  In fact, for me, wash and gos cause way more damage to my hair.  But for some, with finer strands, heat can seriously wreak havoc on their hair. But if you know your hair texture, you are better prepared to deal with heat and mechanical damage concerns.

The other two typing,  I don't really think about it. My hair has a lot of shrinkage and I've embraced it. My hair is dense. Very dense. I've embraced that too.  Detangling is more of a challenge for me, but I have a very full and vibrant head of hair.

So I guess you would say this is more of a testimonial... 

Each hair types with its own their pros and cons. But if you take the time to learn  your hair, the pros will far outweigh the cons.

What questions do you have about hair typing?  What additional information would you like me to provide on this blog?

So you want to go to grad school... (Dispelling myths)

Source: Google Images

As an academic advisor (one of my many titles), I often advise students on grad school preparation.  A major part of my discussion is centered on dispelling myths and misconceptions of graduate school. Since I recall having those same misconceptions and I know many in the blogging world are interested in graduate school, I figured I'd pass on my knowledge...

1.  Grad school is NOT  a place to find yourself. That is the purpose of college.  I know it is very tempting to hideout in a grad school and ride out the recession, but if you are still unfocused...grad school is not for you. While in college, you should fully utilize your experience. Get involved.  Do research.  Do internships. Find yourself.  Conduct as much of your trial and error, while you are in college when you have no responsibilities and no bills.  (This is important whether you plan on attending graduate school or entering the working world.)  If you still haven't found yourself after graduation, consider short-term internship programs, Americorps, Peace Corps, Teach for America, or similar programs.  Quite a few of these programs, provide scholarships to pay loans or to apply toward graduate study.

2. When you apply to graduate school, you should have a defined area of study.  Graduate programs are very specific. When you apply to graduate school, you focus on your specific graduate program and the faculty's research area.  Even if you have a 4.0 GPA, if you write in your personal statement that you are interested in social policy and there is no faculty in that research area... you will not be accepted.  Do your research. Know the faculty.

3. You shouldn't pay for graduate school.  Unless you are going to grad school part-time or  pursuing a professional degree (M.D., J.D., M.B.A.), your education should be free.  Graduate students generally receive graduate assistantships, where you work for 20 hours a week and receive tuition and a living stipend.  They are harder to receive due to budget cuts, but they are they key to research in the sciences.   Another option is a Hall Directorship.  To attain this position, you should get experience as a Resident Assistant during your undergraduate years. 

Does anyone else have any advice?  Anything I should expound upon? In my next post, I can touch upon my personal journey....

So you want to go to grad school.... (Part 2)

In my prior post, I dispelled three myths that people often have about graduate study. Today, I'll let you know how I learned these lessons.

1. Grad school is NOT a place to find yourself. That is the purpose of college.

In college, I learned a lot about myself.  Like a true West Indian [as my friends describe], I often had 3 jobs at a time.  (They all had flexible schedules, where I could work as much or as little as I wanted.) 
Let's do the job/internship role call: Summer Camp Counselor; On-call Macy's Sales Associate; Kohl's Store Management Intern; Blue Hen Ambassador (tour guide); Coke Campus Manager (marketing and athletic event promotion); and Human Resources Intern.

Through trial and error, I learned what aspects of jobs/careers I liked ...and what I didn't like.  Although, I worked at Macy's for two years, it wasn't until I worked at Kohl's that I realized that I couldn't do retail/fashion for 40 hrs/wk. Nor could I do corporate. I just didn't like clothes that much.  I met a recruiter there and thanks to my Labor Relations and Human Resources classes, I became interested in that area.  My senior year, I applied and was accepted to grad school for Human Resources.  A Human Resources internship showed me that HR was mostly mind numbing paperwork.  I kindly turned down my acceptance.

2. When you apply to graduate school, you should have a defined area of study.

When I first graduated college,  I still wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do.  Working for two years as a Coordinator of Multicultural Recruitment, helped me to define my interests. Working with underprivileged populations made me want to focus on education policy.  I wanted to either work for government, a non-profit, or higher education to improve access to higher education. 

3. You shouldn't pay for graduate school.

In graduate school, I had a graduate assistantship which paid my tuition and provided a living stipend. In return, I worked 20 hours/week on education policy issues. I conducted research and developed reports that were used to attain federal funding and to improve education in our state. I also helped to plan workshops for teachers and administrators.  It was very fulfilling work.  It augmented what I learned in the classroom, AND  it paid.  No, you won't be rich. But with student tax adjustments, my take-home pay was only about $300 less than my meagre salary as an Admission Counselor.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions...