UPDATE

Last year, I unexpectedly had to take a hiatus from blogging when my daughter got sick.  Looking for my latest articles? Check me out at Natural Hair Rules!, where I write all things natural hair. Stay tuned for a new blog. I'll announce the new blog here. Thank you for your continued support!

Blog Relaunch May 1st

 

This pic was last weekend. My one weekend off in April. And it was a breath of fresh air.  Last Saturday, we celebrated my eldest daughter's 2nd birthday (pictured below).  (I still can't believe she is already two!)  I am pictured above with my youngest daughter who will be one next month.  (Yes. I am a working mom with two kids under 2. I don't know how I do it either.) 

This coming weekend marks the last weekend I have to work for a while. And I'll be going out with a bang working a 12+ hour shift managing an event that will draw over 5,000 people. This is among my neverending list of responsibilities at work. So, April will end my nightmarish-level workload. In May, it will return to a crazy level. That...I can handle.

So now that May is rolling around. I'll reagain my sanity. I'm settled into motherhood. I can finally get this blog off the ground and really provide the content that this blog space deserves. So stay tuned. The re-launch is coming May 1st. I can hardly wait.

UPDATE: Due to a family emergency, the relaunch has been delayed. Please stay tuned for relaunch details.

Check out my latest articles on Black Hair Media!

I have a case of the Aprils... the busiest time of the year for me at work.  As I try to make it through the day, I slowly countdown til the end of the month.  (It can't come fast enough...)

Please bare with me as I return to a regular posting schedule. In the meantime, please check out my latest articles for Black Hair Media!

Tamara Shares Her "Natural Hair Rules"

Textured Beauty: Jennifer

New Twistout Sweeps the Web!

Scientific Method for Natural Hair

Done in 20 Minutes

What topics would you like me to cover here and and on the Black  Hair Media website?

I've been MIA. Here's Why...

Who does that? Who writes a post about walking into your purpose and then disappears?  I do. That's who. But let me explain...

This is a very busy time of year for me at work. To make my life more difficult, I submitted a presentation to my regional professional conference. Not only was I accepted, but I was selected to be a Lead Presenter and streamed live.  No pressure... right? To top it off, I took vacation the last week of March. So, projects had to be completed before I could leave the office. And did I mention that I'm a wife and mother of two kids under two? 

Well the good news is that I knocked my presentation out the box. National noticed. They want me to write for national publication. The bad news is... my blog was a casualty.  I promise to be more consistent. In fact, once April is over my life will be a lot less stressful. (I'll be working 3/4 Saturdays in April. Don't I sound excited? Sigh...)

So, with that said. I'm back.  Fasten your seat belts. Get ready for lift off. The (quality) content is coming. 

Walking into Your Purpose

Walking into your purpose is no easy task. At least it wasn't for me... Looking back at my twenties, it was a time defined by my search for my purpose in life. Finding a career. Finding love. Becoming a mother. Becoming a real  adult, and defining what that means for me. My thirties -- on the other hand -- are about me walking into my purpose.  Connecting the dots.  And understanding their alignment.

I want to touch lives. I want to inspire. In fact, I want to life life inspired. Teach my daughters how to truly live and enjoy the little moments. [They are, in fact, the  big moments.] I want to dream so big that it scares me. I want to turn every cliche quote on it's head. Like I said. I want to walk into my purpose.

So I'm going to speak it into existence...

In my twenties, I battled with my definition of success.  And I think , I've finally come to terms with it all. I'm a "Nurture Shock" child. [Read the book by P.O. Bronson. I promise it is a good read.]  I was used to titles and accolades. High grades and awards. It didn't take long before I started standing in my own way.  Growing my career with Ph.D at the end of my name -- I admit, it still sounds nice, and Vice President preceding it. Or continuing with ventures even when they took my life out  of balance. That was me. Defining my life by titles and accolades.

I'll stop speaking in abstract and give it you straight. I don't want to grow my career in the traditional sense as a Preseident (or even President) of a university. I'm not even sure if I want to spend another 4 to 7 years to earn a Ph.D. I've finally come to terms with that. It doesn't mean that I don't dream big. It's just not MY dream.

I want to expand by career by leading workshops for students and my peers. ( I work in higher education, if you haven't read my bio.)  I want to be an author. Hence, why I started blogging. And I'm finally at a place where I can see very noticeable improvement in both my public speaking and writing.  The dots are connecting. I'm leading more workshops at work. I'm presenting at a regional conference -- by myself.  I'm writing professionally for Black Hair Media.  I walked way from event planning, because it couldn't coincide with my job and family. [Oh yeah. And I HATE event planning. It wasn't in line with my purpose. ]

Now, I'm essentially building the skills that are in line with my purpose. 

The  dots are connecting.

I'm walking into my purpose.

I'm doing the things I love.

I live life inspired.

I read. I write. I speak. (All things that I love.)

I spend quality time wth my family. (I really love them.)

I have balance.

I am happy.

I'm living my life with purpose.

Are you?

How are YOU walking into your purpose?

How I Met My Husband: Let Love In

In honor of Valentine's Day, and for the Bloggers Like Me Blog Hop, I'm reviving two personal posts I wrote about letting love in ... and out.

**This post is powered by #BLMGirls. Learn more about #BLMGirls HERE. You can check out other posts from our #BLMBlogHop by visiting the link below http://www.thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com/**

First, let me preface this story with some background information...

When I met my husband, I was emotionally starved (figuratively and literally). Fresh out of a break up, tired of heartbreak after heartbreak, I finally broke down. To add insult to injury (literally and figuratively), my dad landed himself a month stint in the hospital, including 11 days of sedation (thanks to a motorcycle accident...punctured lung, broken ribs, broken pelvis, exposed bone... you name it, he had it). I was jaded, guarded, tired...and 15 pounds lighter.

(Please note: Those are the SAME skinny pants. Before in  May, After in July for my 25th birthday. I still can't believe they were baggy!)

So here's the story...

We met in a tattoo shop. Yes, a tattoo shop.  (Imagine telling this to a priest during pre-marital counseling).  The tattoo artist was behind, so we invited him back so that he would not have to sit in the waiting room with the creepy guy --who was also waiting.  I immediately noticed his boyish grin.  Let me be frank, I never found many guys attractive. And when I did find them attractive, I often thought they were arrogant or a waste of my time.  But him. He was cute.  He started to sing and drum a beat along to "Welcome to the Jungle", and I couldn't help but smile. We chit-chatted. He seemed genuine. I batted by eyes and hoped he would ask for my number. He didn't.

 I went home wondering if I could have done anything differently. Yup, still thinking about him.  (That never happens.) I turned on my computer, I logged into Facebook... new message.  From Mercedes (who can forget a name like that).  Thank you facebook. I knew his cousin, so he facebook stalked me.   I HAD to like him, because I wasn't creeped out. 

It took some time for me to let go of old hurt and to let love in. I fought it. I denied that I was falling for him.  I kept telling myself I wasn't ready.  I was supposed to enjoy the single life! But I guess God had other plans.  For the first time, I had found someone who loves me for my flaws, rather that "in spite of them". I could be my true self --quirks and all. Love had found me...even though I wasn't looking. 

 On May 25, 2007, he slipped me a paper that read, "Will you be my girlfriend? Yes/No"  (reminiscent of grade school, I know).  And on that day I checked yes, and I let love in.

Engagement photos by Tere Schubert Photography
 

Can you guess how he proposed?

Let love ... out?

In honor of Valentine's Day, and for the Bloggers Like Me Blog Hop, I'm reviving two personal posts I wrote about letting love in ... and out. 

**This post is powered by #BLMGirls. Learn more about #BLMGirls HERE. You can check out other posts from our #BLMBlogHop by visiting the link below http://www.thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com/**

A while ago, I wrote about how I let love in.  A reader asked me to speak more about how I was able to do this.  And honestly, a key part of letting love in is...letting love OUT.  False love... that is.

Last week in my "Theories of Counseling" class, we covered Existential Theory, which focuses on themes in our lives.  One of those themes is "loving".  To practice our counseling skills, we do roleplays with partners in class.  For the roleplay to be effective, you have to use your own experiences.  I went back to the time when I let my ex's false love OUT and my (now) husband's love IN. I could remember my exact feelings, every rationalization, and every excuse. I remembered how when it was over, I kept referring back to how it USED to be.  And honestly, I developed an image of him that was far better than the person he truly was. (A false self...as my class partner called it.)

Last weekend, I watched " Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past". It wasn't a good movie. It wasn't particularly funny. But there was one quote that stuck with me.

 "The person who cares less has the power in the relationship."

If you want to know how to let love out or if you want to know if you are in a healthy relationship...then refer to this quote.  If you are in a relationship where your significant other "cares less" or holds all the "power" a.k.a. one-sided, then walk away.  That is NOT love.  No relationship is ever perfect. Everyone has problems. Obstacles will arise.  But the key to a lasting relationship, is a DEEP mutual love and affection for eachother. Period.