Do what you love, love what you do

In life, when we think about love we think of God, our families, our significant others, even our clothes and  our cars. But too often, we neglect the one thing that monopolizes a majority of our lives --our jobs. Think about it.  Eight hours a day, five days a week, for forty-five years.  If not more.  You spend more time at work than with your family (especially in America where vacation is not part of our vocabulary).  So why wait till the weekend or retirement to do what you truly love?

While in college, I was given some valuable piece of advice,  "Do what you love and the money will come".  (But of course, I didn't heed this advice while IN college.)  I didn't truly understand the magnitude of this statement until I was unemployed after graduation...trying to figure out my next move and the rest of my life. 

Back then, I was a bonafide overachiever.  My major and career choices often centered on prestige and salary.  When researching colleges, my major was Computer Science. When I applied to college, my major was History (Pre-Law). When I enrolled in college, it was Business Administration. (I actually wanted Fashion Merchandising, but was afraid of the stigma.) 

Freshman year, I set foot in the Career Services Center to begin working on my resume. (I am now a resume expert due to the amount of time I spent tweaking mine.)  With a goal of working in the Fashion Industry, I worked in retail for over two years. I became a tour guide to improve my communication skills and a campus leader to strengthen my leadership skills.  Then came the culmination of my college experiences.  The summer before senior year, I landed a Store Management Internship and loved  loathed it. (What an anti-climax.)   As much as I loved clothes, I didn't love them enough to deal with the bureocracy of management (you will find that in any job) and the audacity of some customers. I needed something more to get me through the eight hour day.  But what?

My senior year became a year of self-discovery.  And while I tried to figure things out...I applied: 

-To entry-level Marketing jobs. (That I had absolutely no interest.) 

-To graduate school. (After speaking with the Human Resources Recruiter at my store, I thought I would       love that career.  An HR internship that Spring taught me that  HR Personnel are buried in paperwork and don't really deal with Humans.) 

I was offered jobs.
I was accepted to grad schools.
And I turned them all down. 

Why... you ask?

I'll let you know tomorrow.  (I didn't realize this would be so long.)

Before Meets After: Mommy Transformation

You see that AFTER? I worked HARD for that. REALLY HARD.

As a mom, it takes serious effort to look good. And I swear, I will NEVER have the details down like I did before kids.  But I'm OKwith that. As long as I don't take the easy road and bum it out.  I remember when I was a new mom on a trip to Babiesrus. One of the workers was surprised that I looked so good. I had on an easy, figure-flattering summer dress. Some of the other moms didn't...  Being a mom is hard. But I refuse to dress in a way that announces it to the world. 

With that said, let's discuss how hard it was to get to after....

This is me. The morning of the event.  You see... the night before I started my hair at 9 p.m. after my hubby and I put the kids to bed. I detangled, wash and deep conditioned, and then realized that the shampoo re-tangled my hair a bit. I was over it. Beyond over it. So, instead of fighting with my hair, I banded it so that it would not dry shrunken.  It took less than 5 minutes and I saved my hair from me ripping it out. I then painted my nails and went to bed.  (Mind you, I never paint my nails because I'm always scared they will get chipped.)

The next morning, we got the kids up and went through our morning routine. I then braided my oldest daughter's hair in case my hubby wanted to take the girls out. Remember those nails that I never paint, because I'm scared they will chip? They chipped. 

Once the girls were all set. I removed my nail polish and got to work on my hair. I pulled out the blow dryer to get my hair 80% dry. I pulled my hair back into puff and rolled it forward. I twisted the front to give it some texture.  

After a minor freak out about what to wear, I decided to stop at the mall to pick up a tank for my sheer top. (All the others were stained or stretched. I'm a mom, remember?)  While at the mall, I also picked up concealer. (I obviously can't make it to the mall often. I need start using mail order. ) I met my mom and my sis at my mom's house. I finished getting dressed, released and pinned my twists, and put on my makeup.  

Phew! I'm tired just recapping this story. It was a struggle, but I made it. And I felt good about how great I looked. (Great confidence builder, I tell ya...)

Jenell (another mom) of Kinkycurlycoilyme.com

at New Hair Resolutions 2013

How do you look fabulous despite your busy schedule?

Hair Typing 101 (Part 2)

In part one of the hair typing series, I broke down the various aspects of hair typing: curl pattern, porosity, texture, density, and elasticity.  But now the question is...how do you put this information into practice?

The easiest way to explain this is to use myself as an example.

When I  first went natural. I was quite confused.  Everyone was throwing around terms, products I had to try, and declaring curl types left and right.  Needless to say, I purchased product after product...that didn't work.

That is when I started to take the time to truly understand my hair.  And not just the Andre Walker Typing System, which is limited in its utility.  I learned about various aspects of hair typing so I could better understand how to moisturize and style my hair.  And that is when I had my major breakthrough.

For the record, I am a 3C (in my crown), 4A and 4B in some sections. But honestly, all you need to know is that I have kinky hair. From that, you know that it is more difficult for hair sebum to reach the ends of my hair.  Other than that, it is just aesthetics. The size of my curl.

For me, the most useful information is "porosity".  I guess if I had normal porosity, it wouldn't be so important to me. But since I have low porosity. It is.  Let me explain low porosity a little more so that you can better understand my dilemma.  I was that girl who kept the relaxer in longer, because it just woudn't "take". And today, I'm that girl who stands under the shower head FOREVER because it takes forever for my hair to feel wet.  Products that others rave about just sit on top of my hair without "penetrating".  It is truly an art to get moisture into my hair.  But as I studied more about porosity and perked up my ears when others described having the same issues, a whole new world opened up for me. [And I must point out, I learned about moisturizing my hair from those whose hair looked NOTHING like mine. ]So armed with this information, I'm an aloe vera, mimosa hair honey, spritz bottle toting gal. All because I KNOW how to moisturize my hair. Think about it this way.  You wouldn't buy makeup foundation without knowing whether your skin is dry, normal, or oil would you? So why would you do that when buying hair products?

To me, the second most useful is hair texture. I have medium-thick strands. You know all those people who fear heat damage? I'm not one of them. I'm not saying I can't heat damage my hair -- because I have -- but it is harder for me to do so. Why, you ask? Because my strands are thicker. They are more resilient.  Due to trial and error, I've learned my heat limits.  In fact, for me, wash and gos cause way more damage to my hair.  But for some, with finer strands, heat can seriously wreak havoc on their hair. But if you know your hair texture, you are better prepared to deal with heat and mechanical damage concerns.

The other two typing,  I don't really think about it. My hair has a lot of shrinkage and I've embraced it. My hair is dense. Very dense. I've embraced that too.  Detangling is more of a challenge for me, but I have a very full and vibrant head of hair.

So I guess you would say this is more of a testimonial... 

Each hair types with its own their pros and cons. But if you take the time to learn  your hair, the pros will far outweigh the cons.

What questions do you have about hair typing?  What additional information would you like me to provide on this blog?

So you want to go to grad school... (Dispelling myths)

Source: Google Images

As an academic advisor (one of my many titles), I often advise students on grad school preparation.  A major part of my discussion is centered on dispelling myths and misconceptions of graduate school. Since I recall having those same misconceptions and I know many in the blogging world are interested in graduate school, I figured I'd pass on my knowledge...

1.  Grad school is NOT  a place to find yourself. That is the purpose of college.  I know it is very tempting to hideout in a grad school and ride out the recession, but if you are still unfocused...grad school is not for you. While in college, you should fully utilize your experience. Get involved.  Do research.  Do internships. Find yourself.  Conduct as much of your trial and error, while you are in college when you have no responsibilities and no bills.  (This is important whether you plan on attending graduate school or entering the working world.)  If you still haven't found yourself after graduation, consider short-term internship programs, Americorps, Peace Corps, Teach for America, or similar programs.  Quite a few of these programs, provide scholarships to pay loans or to apply toward graduate study.

2. When you apply to graduate school, you should have a defined area of study.  Graduate programs are very specific. When you apply to graduate school, you focus on your specific graduate program and the faculty's research area.  Even if you have a 4.0 GPA, if you write in your personal statement that you are interested in social policy and there is no faculty in that research area... you will not be accepted.  Do your research. Know the faculty.

3. You shouldn't pay for graduate school.  Unless you are going to grad school part-time or  pursuing a professional degree (M.D., J.D., M.B.A.), your education should be free.  Graduate students generally receive graduate assistantships, where you work for 20 hours a week and receive tuition and a living stipend.  They are harder to receive due to budget cuts, but they are they key to research in the sciences.   Another option is a Hall Directorship.  To attain this position, you should get experience as a Resident Assistant during your undergraduate years. 

Does anyone else have any advice?  Anything I should expound upon? In my next post, I can touch upon my personal journey....

So you want to go to grad school.... (Part 2)

In my prior post, I dispelled three myths that people often have about graduate study. Today, I'll let you know how I learned these lessons.

1. Grad school is NOT a place to find yourself. That is the purpose of college.

In college, I learned a lot about myself.  Like a true West Indian [as my friends describe], I often had 3 jobs at a time.  (They all had flexible schedules, where I could work as much or as little as I wanted.) 
Let's do the job/internship role call: Summer Camp Counselor; On-call Macy's Sales Associate; Kohl's Store Management Intern; Blue Hen Ambassador (tour guide); Coke Campus Manager (marketing and athletic event promotion); and Human Resources Intern.

Through trial and error, I learned what aspects of jobs/careers I liked ...and what I didn't like.  Although, I worked at Macy's for two years, it wasn't until I worked at Kohl's that I realized that I couldn't do retail/fashion for 40 hrs/wk. Nor could I do corporate. I just didn't like clothes that much.  I met a recruiter there and thanks to my Labor Relations and Human Resources classes, I became interested in that area.  My senior year, I applied and was accepted to grad school for Human Resources.  A Human Resources internship showed me that HR was mostly mind numbing paperwork.  I kindly turned down my acceptance.

2. When you apply to graduate school, you should have a defined area of study.

When I first graduated college,  I still wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do.  Working for two years as a Coordinator of Multicultural Recruitment, helped me to define my interests. Working with underprivileged populations made me want to focus on education policy.  I wanted to either work for government, a non-profit, or higher education to improve access to higher education. 

3. You shouldn't pay for graduate school.

In graduate school, I had a graduate assistantship which paid my tuition and provided a living stipend. In return, I worked 20 hours/week on education policy issues. I conducted research and developed reports that were used to attain federal funding and to improve education in our state. I also helped to plan workshops for teachers and administrators.  It was very fulfilling work.  It augmented what I learned in the classroom, AND  it paid.  No, you won't be rich. But with student tax adjustments, my take-home pay was only about $300 less than my meagre salary as an Admission Counselor.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions...

Hair Typing 101 (Part I)

Let's face it. Hair typing gets a bad rap. A really bad rap.  It is viewed as the categorization of "good" and "bad" hair textures.  Women can be found online asking others to categorize them.  Stereotypes ensue and then hair typing gets a bad name.  But if you think beyond the Andre Walker Typing System ( 3C, 4A, etc.), you will find that understanding all aspects of hair typing will make your hair journey much easier.  Have you ever wondered why someone's hair may look just like yours, but the products they use don't work for you?  Or why some people are more susceptible to breakage? In this two part series, I'll first break down hair typing terminology. In the second part, I will explain how you can use it to better understand your hair.

Black hair is very complex. No two heads of hair are alike. In fact, hairs on one head may not act alike. That is what makes us unique. But that also can be a challenge to fully understand. Our hair has various curl patterns (3C, 4A, etc.), textures, density, porosity and elasticity. It may seem very complicated, but here is the breakdown:

Curl Pattern

The Andre Walker Typing System is the most common system used to describe curl pattern.  Essentially, most Black women have curly (3) or kinky (4) hair. The A, B and C refer to the diameter of the curl. (Although some women refer to their hair has "G" or "Z" hair. There is no such thing. They are just using that to emphasize how "kinky" their hair is.) The typing system is helpful with understanding how your hair may look if you copy a particular style.  You can also infer that hair that is kinkier will be drier, because the tighter curl pattern makes it more difficult for natural hair sebum to reach the ends of the hair.  You should not infer that kinkier hair is stronger. This is false.  Hair texture determines hair strength, which I will discuss next.

The Quick and Easy Curl Pattern Guide:

1 = Straight Hair

2 = Wavy Hair

3 = Curly Hair   

     A = Curl diameter of sidewalk chalk

     B = Curl diameter of a sharpie

     C = Curl diameter of a pencil

      

4  = Kinky Hair

   A = Curl diameter of a needle

   B = Zigzag curl pattern

   C = No curl pattern

Texture

Hair Texture refers to the thickness or diameter of the hair strand.  Your hair can be fine, medium (normal) , or thick (coarse). Fine hair is delicate --with less protein structure --  and doesn't hold curls well.  Fine hair is more prone to breakage, especially if it is also prone to dryness.  Medium (normal) has more protein structure than fine hair, but it is more pliable than coarse hair. Coarse hair is a thicker hair strand, holds curls well, but it is less pliable than fine or medium hair. 

Density

Density refers to the number of strands on your head.  Those with low density hair are more likely to have issues with scalpy twists.  High density means you have a lot of hair strands.  When you refer to someone's hair as "thick", it is normally in reference to density.

Porosity

Porosity refers to how your hair strands retain moisture.  If you are having issues moisturizing your hair, this is a very important concept to grasp. Low porosity hair is difficult to get moisture into the hair. Normal (Medium) porosity hair is fairly easy to get moisture into the hair shaft and retain that moisture. High porosity hair has a very difficult time retaining moisture because water enters and leaves the shaft easily. (NOTE: Overly porous hair is normally due to chemical and mechanical damage and is even more difficult to moisturize.) To test your hair porosity, place a shed hair in water and follow the guide below. It is also important to note that hair porosity can change over time due to use of chemicals, heat, and age of hair.

Quick and Easy Guide to Porosity

Low Porosity = Closed Cuticle = Hair floats in water during hair porosity test = Difficult to get moisture into hair

Normal Porosity = Cuticle layer opens enough to allow  moisture = Hair take a long time to sink = Easy to moisturize and retain that moisture

High Porosity = Raised cuticle layer = Hair quickly sinks to the bottom = Absorbs water easily

Elasticity

Elasticity refers to the "stretchiness" of your hair, which is how much you hair will stretch and then return to its normal state. If your hair is healthy, when wet, it should stretch 50% or more and return to its normal state.  Unhealthy hair may only stretch about 20% when wet. Hair that is not elastic is more prone to breakage. It is also harder to curl with rollers or heat styling tools. To test for elasticity, pull strands from at least four areas of your head.  Determine how much it springs break, how quickly it springs break, and whether your hair breaks.

So there you have it! The simple breakdown of "hair typing". As you can see, it is much more than 1, 2, 3 and A, B, C. [Sorry I couldn't resist the rhyme.] It is also important to note,that you can have any combination of these characteristics. (So although you think your hair looks like "Ebony" when you watch her video... it's not.) In the next installment, take things a step further.  I'll explain why hair typing is important and how you can use this to sort through the plethora of information available on the web.

But for now... How do you think you will use this information?

Girl Crush

As a new mom, I struggle with finding a routine that allows me to balance family, career... and ME. The first video in the Girl Crush series was very refreshing. It was great to know other moms leave the house with minimal (or no) makeup just like me. I will admit that I have the lofty goal of wearing some makeup. Right now, I only use a moisturizer (it's not even tinted), clear mascara, lipgloss,and my eyebrow brush. (Does the eyebrow brush even count?) I'm also trying to be more consistent with eating a healthy, balanced diet and daily exercise.  I'm a work in progress, but for now I'm taking things one day at at time.